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View Full Version : First Joke on the Forum ;)

Carl Fairhurst
15-09-2005, 11:19 AM
A bloke is in the checkout line at the Super Market when he notices that the rather dishy blonde behind him has just raised her hand and
smiled hello to him.
He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him,and although familiar he can't place where he might know her from, so he
says "sorry do you know me?" She replies "I may be mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of one of my children !

His mind shoots back to the one and only time he had been unfaithful,Christ! he says "are you that stripogram on my stag night
that I Sh****d ! on the snooker table in front of all my mates whilst your mate whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my bum.

No she replies, I'm your sons' English Teacher.
gaz160
15-09-2005, 12:30 PM
Herd it before but very funny:D :D
griggy
15-09-2005, 12:45 PM
tis a good'n
AndrewM
15-09-2005, 12:50 PM
lol

Andy
Tony
15-09-2005, 01:32 PM
If we're telling jokes allready....

CIA Job opening

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews, and testing were done, there were three finalists ... two men and a woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

"We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her!!!"

The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes. "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow.. "This gun is loaded with blanks,” she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."
MartinW
15-09-2005, 04:16 PM
Sorry, I read the title initially as "First Joker on the Forum" :D
GT
15-09-2005, 04:40 PM
No, I'm here ;)
ady new
15-09-2005, 07:50 PM
Oldie but goldie :rolleyes:
Gav
15-09-2005, 07:54 PM
1st one was ok 2nd one was better
jld
15-09-2005, 07:58 PM
I see they've managed to cross breed a new type of dog. It's a cross between a rotweiller and a labrador. Scare's the cr@p out of you, then fetches the toilet roll.
scooby76
15-09-2005, 08:06 PM
I see they've managed to cross breed a new type of dog. It's a cross between a rotweiller and a labrador. Scare's the cr@p out of you, then fetches the toilet roll.

*groan* d'you wan't your coat now then????? :)
jld
15-09-2005, 08:08 PM
can't hear you.






I'm hiding :rolleyes:
scooby76
15-09-2005, 08:11 PM
i see you hiding behind the mobile disco! :) first night n'all that, i'll let you off with that one, just this once & 'cos its you. ;)
pete247
15-09-2005, 09:07 PM
Good to see we have a few comedians on board.

I'll try and remember a few jokes for when I get back from sea, Matelots are always good for 'em, just may have to censor them a bit for decency first!
byron
15-09-2005, 09:53 PM
nice to see the jokers are here :)